How Screwed Up Does a Situation Have To Be For Me To Agree With Alberto Gonzales?

George W. Bush is in a tough spot these days.
His approval ratings are lower than Hugh Hefner’s sperm count. His only chance of dodging impeachment is keeping a thoroughly corrupted Republican Congress on Capitol Hill.
But he can’t be seen as helping them… Along comes William Jefferson to help him out. Since Jefferson is a corrupt [...]

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Pat Robertson- Stiil a Nut.

I know it’s difficult to believe when you look at me now, but I used to be in really great shape. I had been working in the gym industry for years, and at one point, I managed to get my body up to a very lean 245 pounds.
I could bench 300, although if I [...]

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45 More Guns on the Streets Courtesy of Gomer and Goober

Classic Arms in Cordova obviously doesn’t know much about security. When you run a firearms shop, you really do have a moral and ethical responsibility to make sure your shop is secure. It’s not like you run a bakery or something— Items stolen from your business are destined to be used in crimes.
Yes, Classic Arms [...]

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Is There Anything We Can’t Commercialize?

146 more Americans died in Iraq last month. That brings the grand total to 2460 as of this writing. 2323 have died since George W. Bush’s costume party aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln.
And of course, this is Memorial Day Weekend— That time of year that we gather around to remember our fallen soldiers [...]

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Be There!

Because I can’t, sadly…
Tomorrow is the official opening of Steve Cohen’s campaign headquarters. It’s a great location— It’s in the same building as the TCBY on Union at McLean. There will be free food and drinks, and live music from someone whose name I didn’t catch (Sorry!).
If you’re not busy tomorrow, the grand [...]

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The Book of George

The Book of GeorgeChapter One
1. And George the Elder spake unto Barbara of Kennebunkport, formerly Barbara of New York, and said “We shall name him George as well. God smiles upon him by granting him my knowledge of economics.”2. And Barbara of Kennebunkport said “I know not whether our son shares your knowledge of [...]

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To All Visitors…

Sorry about adding Word Verification on this site. After 30 ads put on here by a spammer in the course of a few minutes, I had to tighten things up.
Ain’t it sad? Things are harder for everyone because of the actions of a few dipshits.

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Heads Up, Polar Donkey!

I just got this email from the Bredesen Campaign:
Dear Friend: YOU are invited to join Governor Phil Bredesen on Thursday, June 8th, as part of his re-election campaign’s “Statewide Kickoff Tour.” Phil will be stopping by the Rendezvous Restaurant, 52 South 2nd Street, in Memphis that day at 11 a.m. We hope to see you [...]

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And the Winner for "World’s Stupidest Bastard" is…

… whoever is handling the Tom DeLay Legal Defense Fund.
Apparently, he was the only person in the world dumb enough to believe that Stephen Colbert was actually a right winger after the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
Take a look at the email sent out by the Tom DeLay Legal Defense Fund, courtesy of ThinkProgress:
Hollywood liberal and [...]

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Herenton vs Frazier?

WREG TV is announcing that there are plans for Mayor Herenton to box Joe Frazier in September as a fundraiser for Lemoyne-Owen.
I predict that tickets for this will be a big seller. I also predict that most of the crowd will be disappointed when Joe Frazier takes it easy on him and stops short of [...]

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No More for Me, Thanks.

I don’t mean to be overly dramatic about this. Please don’t read this and imagine me as some guy that is going to be suffering from DTs within the next couple of days. I only drink socially. It never occurs to me to have a drink when I’m alone at home.
But after [...]

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A Duke Cunningham of Our Own…

It looks like Rep. William Jefferson, a Democrat from Lousisiana’s 2nd District, was running a Nigerian bank scam of his own.
In a scenario that will sound eerily familiar to those of us still wincing over Tennessee Waltz, he took $100k from an FBI agent posing as a businessman trying to purchase some influence for a [...]

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The Triumph of "Supersize Me"

Has anyone been to a McDonald’s lately?
Don’t get me wrong— They’re still selling quite a few varieties of the “Squeeze a half pound of lard between two pieces of bread” sandwiches, as well as the McNuggets of Dubious Anatomical Origin.
But their new salad line is actually pretty good. I just picked up one of their [...]

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Quote of the Week

Nothing funny about this one.
“I don’t want to talk to you. I have given you so many reports, but you did nothing. Many rape cases were reported and you conduct many patrols. But you have done nothing.”
- Omar Muhammad Abakar, a village sheik in Darfur, speaking to Maj. Essodina Kadangha, a Togolese member of the [...]

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This is Surely a Sign of the Apocalypse.

Anna Nicole Smith is pregnant.
Britney Spears is expecting her second.
I’m surprised these two things did not raise the Rapture Index tracked by the religious right.
At the very least, it should make anyone who doesn’t back a woman’s right to choose think twice.
Can this nation afford enough child welfare agents to protect these kids?

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Cruel and Unusual? You Bet.

Sedley Alley is sitting at Nashville’s Riverbend Maximum Security Institution. He would be just minutes from his death had it not been for a brief reprieve reluctantly granted by Governor Bredesen to investigate whether or not lethal injection is cruel and unusual punishment.
No one doubts Alley’s guilt. He confessed (Although later recanted) to [...]

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Congratulations, Isaac!

I would like to congratulate a very nice couple on the birth of their new son.
Issac Hayes and his lovely wife Adjowa have welcomed a new baby boy into the world.
Nana Kwadjo Hayes was born April 10th, weighing 8 pounds, 5 ounces.
May he be fortunate enough to inherit his father’s voice, kindness, and easygoing personality [...]

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How to Stop the NSA!

It’s so simple…
If you know anyone that calls phone sex hotlines, encourage them to join in a class action suit against the government.
After all… If they’re listening in, they should pay half. It’s only fair. It’s the “I’ll give you some gas money” principle.

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Phil’s Campaign Is Heating Up! He Needs You!

At least that’s what I was told when I saw my email this afternoon. It came in from Bredesen for Governor.
Yeah Phil, you probably do need me, old pal. And several hundred thousand more just like me.
Too bad you pissed it all away.
See, I could have lived with the Tenncare cuts. But [...]

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Posse Comitatus on the Border

In a prime time speech tomorrow that will likely be watched by about as many people as are watching public access TV at the time, President Bush will be announcing the deployment of National Guard troops along the US/ Mexico border.
You know, since we have SO many National Guardsmen that aren’t in Iraq or soon [...]

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