Reverend Tim Ralph, one of the four evangelical ministers that has been supervising the intense counseling of the defrocked Reverend Ted Haggard, has pronounced him “completely heterosexual“.
Apparently, Jesus is okay with banging a male prostitute, just as long as there’s meth involved. And having sex with male prostitutes doesn’t mean you’re gay, right?
It’s not like Haggard helped the guy get a White House press pass or something, right?
Haggard and his
beard wife Gayle are planning to move to another state and pursue psychology degrees. I suggest a few courses in human sexuality. Or at least a refresher course in Shakespeare so he can finally figure out what the Bard was getting at when he wrote “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”