- Trials are ready to begin for an HIV vaccine which promises to not only prevent infection, but could very well cure existing cases. Expect a large party worldwide if this turns out to be the case. And if you cannot get laid that day, then I gotta wonder what’s wrong with you.
- The Anna Marie He case ends today! The Memphis media will have to find a brand new story that only ten people care about to beat to death for years.
- The new Harry Potter book sold 72 million copies worldwide on its release date. That’s a copy sold for every 92 people on the face of the planet earth. A quick look through the torrent sites on the internet showed a minimum of ten sources that had pirated copies available for download on the biggest three sites alone, one with 2500 downloads. With the vast number of people hosting the file, downloading every last word would have taken about thirty seconds. Let this be a lesson to the music and movie industries; Provide compelling content and people will buy it anyway. If Rowling’s book was like the average CD— Two good chapters and a mass of filler— Her numbers might look more like yours.
- If you don’t want to pay to take care of war veterans, the solution is really simple: Quit making new war veterans. If we can’t do that, then it’s high time the Department of Veteran Affairs quits shirking its responsibility to the American veteran.
- The Weekly World News is going to cease publication. As a brilliant commenter at Newscoma’s site wrote, “Well I suppose it was inevitable. I mean what with big names like Fox competing for the utter-bullshit-masquerading-as-news market… ” (Which makes for a “good” postscript on an otherwise downer of a story)
- Tammy Faye Messner has died. Who could ever imagine that the gaudily war painted wife of a disgraced televangelist could go on to become such a beloved figure by appearing on reality TV? May the people at the mortuary give that old face one radical makeup job before they lay it to rest.
The Really, Really, Stoopid:
- Attorney General Alberto Gonzales vows that he’s going to stay and repair the tarnished image of the Justice Department. Two goals which seem dangerously at odds with one another.
- George W. Bush underwent a successful operation to remove polyps from his colon. For those of you out there counting the number of times we’ve honestly been able to use the words “George W. Bush”, “operation”, and “successful” in the same sentence, that brings us to one. Okay, now two. (Hat tip to Bill Maher, who stole my joke right out of my head before I had a chance to make it)
- Tonight is the YouTube Presidential Debate. We can expect a wide array of questions, ranging from “What do you plan to do about Darfur” to “Is The Resident totally hot or what?” (Okay, that one was mine)