I was told the other day that one of the problems with the liberal bloggers is that we tend to have a language of our own. I would dispute that; Ours is called English.
Anyway, in an effort to bring stories to the attention of people who sorely need it, I’ve decided to try and vary my style up a bit.
“Ford drops lawsuit against landlord, agrees to leave” from this morning’s Commercial Appeal for the MySpace crowd.
This Edmund Ford guy was totally gonna sue his landlord then got a case of the fuckits. Lol . U know cuz the landlord said he owed like six months rent. Ford said “Hell no.” Landlord said “Hell yes.” Ford said “fuck y’all bitches. See you in court.” But he, like, totally wussed out.
“Ford sees hybrid plug-ins in 5-10 years” from CNN for Republicans
Ford motor company today announced its loathing for all things American by saying they would have, get this, plug-in hybrid cars available within five to ten years. Clearly, it’s a plot funded by George Soros to undermine President Bush’s war in Iraq which, as we all know, happened because Saddam Hussein hired the 9/11 hijackers.
“Some people say” they’ve watched a few too many episodes of The Jetsons. Nancy Pelosi is dancing in the aisles of Congress right now. The oil companies love America, so they keep the Republican Party afloat. Bankrupt the oil companies, and they can no longer do that. So there you have it, folks— An assault on American values and an attempt to turn this nation into a single party state.
“Taliban Launch Attack on US Base” from TIME for the White House.
The forces of evil launched a malevolent assault on Firebase Anaconda today, firing shoulder mounted weapons of mass destruction at American and Afghan troops. The attack was carried out by 75 Taliban militants, and the US and Afghan armed forces killed an estimated twenty. So we can say without a doubt that we have eradicated the Taliban presence inside Afghanistan.
We at the White House feel that this incident underscores the need for President Bush’s domestic surveillance program, which will be known from this day forward as “Freedom Listening”.